This project is about celebrating the strength of women and it is also about challenging misconceptions such as “it’s dangerous to have a child after 40” or “it’s too difficult to be an older mum”. We also want to put the spotlight on women who may have waited to have a child because they were focused on their career in their 20’s and 30’s or women who conceived after a long time of trying to get pregnant or trying treatments such as IVF. We are hoping to develop a series of honest, intimate and raw portraits of mothers with their child.
Lucianne
Tell us your story .
I met my husband when I was 31 and we spent an amazing 5 years together before getting married. We both knew we absolutely wanted to have children together & got pregnant with our first little girl soon after we were married. I was and still am completely fascinated by pregnancy & labour.
I researched all my options for labour and decided to go with the Domino Midwives in Holles st. We had a natural, pain-relief free labour. She came pretty quickly in the end and our midwife Roisín said "you need to have a home birth on your next baby"!
We waited 2 years before trying for another baby and thankfully fell pregnant again when I was 39. Our second little girl was due exactly 2 weeks after my 40th birthday!!
As soon as we found out I was pregnant, we looked at all our home birth options. We picked our caregiver (Private Midwives Ireland) & got ready to have our home birth. It was the most magical, empowering, respectful experience & I would urge anyone with a low-risk pregnancy who is thinking of a home birth to just go for it.
Did you have any fears about carrying a child when you were over 40?
I absolutely had the usual fears that come with any pregnancy and labour and I was concerned that I would be devastated if our home birth didn't go to plan but it was nothing to do with being over 40. I believe in how our bodies are made to birth our babies so much so that I am one of the 3 women behind Positive Birth Ireland on Instagram. This is a page that is dedicated to empowering & informing women about choosing labour that is positive for them, whatever that may be (naturally, with epidural, C-section) & supporting them through it as much as possible.
Did any of these fears materialize?
Not at all.
How did your life change afterwards? Or did it?
There is absolutely nothing that can prepare you for how drastically children change your life, for the better of course. The older you are, the longer you have had to become set in your ways & have a life where it's just you or you & your partner. I found it tough adjusting to the fact that you can't just go out for dinner or grab a movie together whenever you feel like it.
It is also the biggest change in your relationship with your partner so I am very grateful that we had a good solid foundation & communicate absolutely everything. It is so important to talk about how you feel.
So much has changed but I wouldn't change it for the world
How has society received you as a mother over 40?
I haven't had any bad experiences or anyone reacting badly to my age or maybe I did & was just completely oblivious to it because I myself had no issue with it?! I did find it amusing that medically, I was a "geriatric" but that didn't deter me from having the most incredible home birth
What would you say to women who are currently childless and thinking about conceiving?
If you want to have children do not let your age stop you. I will say that I don't feel like I have as much patience as I may have had 10 years ago. The tiredness and lack of energy are rough too, but I think that is with every mother
We got very lucky and got pregnant rather quickly on both occasions but if you are having trouble conceiving, ask for help. Jessica Bourke, The Fertility Detective, is an amazing woman who is unbelievably dedicated to helping & supporting people through any fertility issues.
