This project is about celebrating the strength of women and it is also about challenging misconceptions such as “it’s dangerous to have a child after 40” or “it’s too difficult to be an older mum”. We also want to put the spotlight on women who may have waited to have a child because they were focused on their career in their 20’s and 30’s or women who conceived after a long time of trying to get pregnant or trying treatments such as IVF. We are hoping to develop a series of honest, intimate and raw portraits of mothers with their child.
Cliodhna
Tell us your story .
I have wanted children all my life, 5 was my number. I was in a relationship before I was 40, unfortunately, it didn't last, and after my 40th birthday, I decided that was it, I was going it alone. I started researching it and by December, I had the ball rolling through Galway Fertility Clinic. I went for IUI first with donor sperm, unfortunately, it didn't work, my second attempt gave me my beautiful daughter, the best birthday present at 41. I tried 6 more times after my daughter, (a mix of IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) and IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) which gave me twins at 44. It is a rollercoaster of emotions going through it and trying to have hope.
Did you have any fears about carrying a child when you were over 40?
You do have fears like anyone, miscarriage, health, egg quality etc, it's also a fear of the unknown as it's all new. I sailed through my first pregnancy apart from SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) pain, no blood pressure worries or gestational diabetes, I felt great. The 2nd pregnancy I had 2 bleeds, 1 at 6 weeks and 1 at 8 weeks, it was scary as you think it's game over.
Did any of these fears materialize?
No thankfully, I had a great pregnancy after the bleeds. No one tells you either that bleeds are quite common.
How did your life change afterwards? Or did it?
It changed for the better, my life is busy but I wouldn't be without my 3 blessings. It hasn't stopped me travelling etc, and the kids love going thankfully. I am blessed to have a great family and network of friends who help me out.
How has society received you as a mother over 40?
I haven't received too much negativity, some older women said they wish they could have done it years ago, attitudes have changed, which is great. After I had the twins, the midwives said you will go again, I said I would love to but I would be 45, and the journey to get pregnant would be harder. I melt at the sight of a baby. I recovered well from my c-section. You do get the odd one saying you will be such an age when they finish school. However I have travelled the world, I am healthy, now is my time with my children, age is but a number.
What would you say to women who are currently childless and thinking about conceiving?
Go for it, don't wait. The older you get the harder it gets trying to get pregnant and maintain one.
