This project is about celebrating the strength of women and it is also about challenging misconceptions such as “it’s dangerous to have a child after 40” or “it’s too difficult to be an older mum”. We also want to put the spotlight on women who may have waited to have a child because they were focused on their career in their 20’s and 30’s or women who conceived after a long time of trying to get pregnant or trying treatments such as IVF. We are hoping to develop a series of honest, intimate and raw portraits of mothers with their child.
Anna
Tell us your story.
In my twenties, I had my head filled with studies and dreams of far journeys. In my thirties, when most of my friends had already been happy mothers, I was dreading the lack of any maternal instincts and took interest in kids when they were able to talk and interact with me. Holding an infant was giving me chills as I was convinced I would break them into pieces!
I traveled the world, I got a job that I loved, I’ve found my soulmate and at the age of roughly 38 decided that was it! However, life is full of surprises, not necessarily nice ones. Having been diagnosed with Hashimoto, having undergone two serious gynae surgeries, having visited multiple specialists who were shrugging their shoulders, having heard far too many times I’ve missed my chance, I hit big 40! In vitro was suggested to be the only and not very likely option for us.
With a shred of hope, we started all the tests – I do not remember how many! A lot! Finally, I went for the last one, ultrasound and was told there was a small chance I actually was already pregnant. It took me a while to understand fully what the doctor was saying. I was trying to convince her it was not possible and I was there to see if I could actually even get pregnant. The following day I took 5 pregnancy tests! All positive. Lesson learned – never stop hoping:)
Did you have any fears about carrying a child when you were over 40?
I was absolutely terrified – only because we had been warned multiple times how dangerous that pregnancy was. The doctors suggested multiple prenatal tests. We went for the first one and decided to leave it at that and actually enjoy the time fully instead of worrying and googling for all the risks.
Did any of these fears materialize?
Not at all. The labour went with no complications at all – I think for a while was really pondering whether that was really it!!! and our baby girl was born with 10 fingers and 10 toes – healthy and simply perfect to us.
How did your life change afterwards? Or did it?
The very first moment I held my baby girl, my whole persona exploded with emotions I have never experienced before. She was the dream coming true, the dream that I never thought I actually had. Raising her is the journey on its own – the one that I never even thought would be possible!
How has society received you as a mother over 40?
Having been classified as a “geriatric” mother by the medicine specialists, having been tested for everything that might possibly be wrong, and preached of all the risks, I was actually amazed by how well normal people responded to my pregnancy – actually I got plenty of support and love that was so much needed and appreciated at the time.
What would you say to women who are currently childless and thinking about conceiving?
Go for it – it may be scary at first, but only because you’ve read of possible complications and heard so many unbelievably sad stories of miscarriages, genetic disorders, complications, but probably you have never or rarely enough heard of happy endings! Trust me there are millions of them! Trust your gut, be sensible and never give up hope.